Sunday, December 13, 2009

Churches and technology: the ultimate hand-held device

ipodvideo1.jpg (New touch-screen iPod shown left) I have a few gadgets - my iPod is being used more now, the Blackberry is great, we have 3 computers in the house and my digital camera is a wee gem. Most of my tech is needed for the type of work I do, and as an Apple user, I take a bit of stick from people about my gadgetry. Most churches have by now invested a fair bit of money in technology - sound systems and of course the ubiquitous Powerpoint with projector and a variety of screens. But the new technology (far from making life easier) creates a whole new workload. How many man/woman hours are being spent worldwide every week in teaching people how to use the equipment, and in preparing church powerpoint presentations? It must be billions.

Well, I have discovered something that makes Powerpoint obsolete. No longer is there any need to type in (or search the internet looking for) the words of this week's hymns and choruses - which are then copied-and-pasted into Powerpoint slides.

I used to think the iPod was clever. Well, it has been superceded! Allow me to introduce you to the ultimate in hand-held devices:

1) It holds around 1000 hymns and choruses
2) Low unit cost, so cheap to replace if damaged - and no need for batteries or power source
3) Everyone is given their own device at the start of the service
4) Every person in the congregation can, in seconds, call up the words to the hymn about to be sung
5) No need to strain to see the projector or plasma screen, the words are right there in the palm of the hand
6) No need to cringe at unsuitable clip-art or wacky graphics - this device uses classic typography designed for both legibility and reverence
7) It allows for the spontaneous selection of any of the 1000 songs, so there's no risk of extinguishing on-the-spot inspiration
8) Should anyone be particularly moved by the words, they can choose to keep these words before them for a few precious moments of reflection
9) The hymns are usually organised by theme, allowing for co-ordinated singing quickly and easily
10) Depending on eyesight standards, the user can even adjust the distance at which they hold the device, in an instant
11) Different versions available, depending on your congregations denominational/theological emphasis.
12) None of the common problems of tech compatibility
13) Every version of this device has been ergonomically designed for ease of use, regardless of age, gender or ethnic origin of the user

...all of which dramatically reduces the weekly workload of this week's "worship leader", and might make a church service run more smoothly and less prone to embarrassing and disruptive tech failure.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are just a click away from the answer you've been waiting for... the ultimate hand-held device! (click here)


Ulsterscot said...

Many moons ago, I can remember by dad pondering for many a hour what use a computer couldbe put to in our Church.

Newsletter? Inputting the Freewill Offering?

The problem was that all those jobs had tried and tested methods for doing them and the introduction of technology would likely just slow the process down.

Churches (and businesses) need to understand that technology MAY be the solution to an identified problem - but if it ain't broke, don't fix it. The ubiquitous Powerpoint singing is an absolute case in point. Your photo of the ACTUAL solution (hope you appreciate that I'm avoiding a spoiler here!) is the logical solution to a problem that never existed...

Alan said...

Ahh. But how are the happy clappy ones going to clap if they have to hold a book??

Colin Maxwell said...

Spiritually speaking, I was reared on "Redemption Songs" - open air meetings etc: 773 "Years I spent" - 559 "What a Friend" - 611 "I'm not ashamed" etc., When I will be hardly able to tell you who I am in 30 years hence, I'll still be shouting out: "610 - I have a shepherd..."

Och, aye!

Fairt fa' ye!