Address to a Tunnock's Caramel Wafer

I penned these lines on the sofa on Burns Night, just for fun. With apologies to Rabbie...




Fair fa' your honest, stripey paper!
Great chieftain o the caramel wafer!
Aboon them a! There is nane greater,
Tae hae wi tay,
The minimum advised for every cratur's
Aroon five a day

Och an whun ye peel awa the wrapper
The rid an gold looks brave an dapper
If the chocolate’s saft it’ll mak a clabber
All ower yer fingèrs
Sure yer mooth’s near trippin’ ye wi slabbers
Nae chance tae lingèr

But tak yer time noo, crisp an sweet
A blissful peace sae near complete
A near-addiction this Tunnocks treat
Ye cannae share
Ye’ll hiddae jouk tae the shap doon the street
For twa packets mair

Plenty of room for improvement...